Walking the Plank

For those of you who don't know, corone has asked me to leave 7th Sea. More like told, actually, but I'm trying to avoid the phrase "kicked out", for my own sake as well as his.

I have no idea what to say to this. I was worried about coming back, but I was going to, because overall I do have fun in game, and it's the only contact I still get with that particular group of friends. That was scuppered pretty much completely by the e-mail I received last night, which went (to paraphrase): "I can't imagine you were coming back anyway and I think it's best you don't since we're so pissed off at each other. I'm thinking of removing you from house molay, seeing as you never use it for your own stuff and you won't be in any of my games anymore, but if you can stay on the mailing list if you really want to."

For the record, I'm not pissed off with him anymore. Not over that, not over the playtest debacle and not even over being told to leave 7th Sea. Actually, I haven't been for over a week now. I'm more depressed, confused and hurt than anything else. It's not that I don't understand how it's come to this; I just think it's unnecessary, from my point of view.

I could go into reasons. I could do the reportage thing again and outline the points raised one at a time. But I'm not going to. I know how much corone hates having this kind of thing thrown up on LJ, so I'm going to keep it as personal to me as I can. Which I suppose isn't very much, given that it entirely surrounds his decision, but I can try.

There really wasn't any decision for me to make at the end of the day. The GM is pissed off with me and wants me to leave. I wanted to stay but can't see a workable situation where the GM is so pissed off with one of the players that he wants them to not be part of the game anymore. So I've asked him to kill off Alison in some way that gives Pietro something to do, taken myself off house molay and thanked him for two fun years. So I will not be coming back to 7th Sea. Or, if I read the subtext of corone's last statement right, any of his other games.

For the record, because this cannot be stressed enough: I did not want to leave. I was concerned about coming back and leaving was an option, but if I had really wanted to drop 7th Sea, I'd have told corone so a week ago at least. Still, even if staying was a presented option at this point, the fact that the GM doesn't want me there scuppers it entirely. So I lose a good character and access to a group of friends as well as the one game I actually play in anymore, instead of run.

I'll come to terms with the decision. It may just take some time. I reserve the right to be depressed, sullen, uncommunicative and mopey for as long as is necessary. Thank you, and have a nice day.