Walking the Plank

[thessalian]

For those of you who don't know, corone has asked me to leave 7th Sea. More like told, actually, but I'm trying to avoid the phrase "kicked out", for my own sake as well as his.

I have no idea what to say to this. I was worried about coming back, but I was going to, because overall I do have fun in game, and it's the only contact I still get with that particular group of friends. That was scuppered pretty much completely by the e-mail I received last night, which went (to paraphrase): "I can't imagine you were coming back anyway and I think it's best you don't since we're so pissed off at each other. I'm thinking of removing you from house molay, seeing as you never use it for your own stuff and you won't be in any of my games anymore, but if you can stay on the mailing list if you really want to."

For the record, I'm not pissed off with him anymore. Not over that, not over the playtest debacle and not even over being told to leave 7th Sea. Actually, I haven't been for over a week now. I'm more depressed, confused and hurt than anything else. It's not that I don't understand how it's come to this; I just think it's unnecessary, from my point of view.

I could go into reasons. I could do the reportage thing again and outline the points raised one at a time. But I'm not going to. I know how much corone hates having this kind of thing thrown up on LJ, so I'm going to keep it as personal to me as I can. Which I suppose isn't very much, given that it entirely surrounds his decision, but I can try.

There really wasn't any decision for me to make at the end of the day. The GM is pissed off with me and wants me to leave. I wanted to stay but can't see a workable situation where the GM is so pissed off with one of the players that he wants them to not be part of the game anymore. So I've asked him to kill off Alison in some way that gives Pietro something to do, taken myself off house molay and thanked him for two fun years. So I will not be coming back to 7th Sea. Or, if I read the subtext of corone's last statement right, any of his other games.

For the record, because this cannot be stressed enough: I did not want to leave. I was concerned about coming back and leaving was an option, but if I had really wanted to drop 7th Sea, I'd have told corone so a week ago at least. Still, even if staying was a presented option at this point, the fact that the GM doesn't want me there scuppers it entirely. So I lose a good character and access to a group of friends as well as the one game I actually play in anymore, instead of run.

I'll come to terms with the decision. It may just take some time. I reserve the right to be depressed, sullen, uncommunicative and mopey for as long as is necessary. Thank you, and have a nice day.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

> For the record, I'm not pissed off with him anymore.

And therein lies the difference. For better or worse there are some people in the world who become emotional, angry and pissed off at people very quickly. They can, under certain circumstances, lash out at people in ways that can be viewed as unpleasent by the more laid-back people around. The flip side of this is that once they have their PoV out in the open they calm down again and consider the matter finished. Other people are mostly calm and deal with things in a more rational and considered manner. The flip side of *that* is that by the time they've actually become angry with someone over something it can be a long time before they can let it go and let things return to normal. Sadly with you and Andy it looks like you've come a cropper of what happens when these two kinds of people have a disagreement.

Now, this is not my arguement (not that that's ever stopped me sticking my oar in where it's not wanted) but it seems to me that the pair of you could at least me amicable with each other if you could come to an understanding that he could, in time, calm down over things past provided that, in future, you could change the way you deal with conflict with certain people (less agressive, personal & public).

Two more points before I finish. First of all please don't lump all of the 7th Sea people in together. Just because Andy doesn't want you around in the game doesn't mean that the rest of us never want to see you again - that's a hell of a jump. Secondly please don't assume that this decision was Andy's alone. As in all things related to gaming the GM may run the game but everything that happens surrounding it happens by consensus - I was happy for you to stay for example.

I have a DVD that I burned for you and your Andy a while back - I can drop it off at some point if you like. Have you watched the last one yet - if so what did you think?

D'oh

[cholten99.livejournal.com]

Sorry, above was from me (as I'm sure you could tell) - I forgot to log in.

Re: D'oh

[thessalian.livejournal.com]

While I appreciate the fact that you took the time to make your opinion known, the fact that you're saying this to me is kind of ridiculous. Someone who repeatedly states that he cannot be held responsible for how anything he says makes someone feel advocating a total change in personal means of expression to avoid personal problems seems a little hypocritical.

Also, I did not exactly say that the group didn't want to see me. I just point out that, given that I'm not on house molay anymore and I'm no longer invited to 7th Sea sessions, I'm never going to find out what's on offer as regards group meet-ups. Yes, you regularly send out invites to things without using the mailing list, but by and large they're not things I'm interested in doing. I'm not going to do things I don't want to do just to hang out with the group; I'm not built that way.

It's nice to know that you're happy for me to stay. Forgive me for pointing out that you're not particularly fussed that I'm gone, either. If that was supposed to make me feel better, it didn't work.

As for the DVD, no, I didn't watch it because, as it didn't come in any kind of protective covering whatsoever, it was a) ruined by cat piss and b) broken by the time it got here. Thank you for the thought, but I think I'll get my DVDs from HMV; it's safer that way.

[corone.livejournal.com]

I just wanted to say that although we end up talking on livejournals again,
I'm grateful this is not turning into another huge ranting row.

I didn't ask you to leave because I can't stand you,
I just can't stand these arguments anymore.
I'm not so much pissed off as upset and just drained with it all.
Live journal will attest to how nasty things have got, and that is no fun for anyone.
The only way I can see to avoid them is for us to not do stuff together.

As for the house molay list,
do not mistake it for some badge of being in the group.
It is just for organising games.
You've never used it to organise yours, and you arn't involved in mine,
so it just isn't any use.
If you want to stay on it you can, I made that clear.
I just can't see there being any point.
Everyone still has your mail address, and you will hear from people about anything social without any problem.

No one is kicking you out of the group,
(and you can't seriously think I have that kind of 'power')
I'm just saying you and I shouldn't do stuff together.
There is no rule that says we both have to be at every gathering.
Sadly, with me GMing a game that means I can't be the one to leave it.
If I'd been in Mage I would have been the one to leave.

I will very much miss the Alison/Pietro dynamic and the mass of diary writing.
While it may sound hollow I would honestly like to thank you in return for everything you brought to 7th sea.
I am sorry it has come to this, but I honestly can't see any other way to avoid these arguments that seem to just keep happening.

[thessalian.livejournal.com]

I'm hoping this won't start another fight, but I think it needs to be said. You did, in actual fact, have options other than just asking me to leave 7th Sea. You could have spoken to me face to face and asked me what was going on. You know -- rang or e-mailed me, arranged a lunch break meet-up, something to make sure that we had a simple, face-to-face discussion about the likelihood of another disagreement. (Incidentally, "these arguments that keep on happening" have happened twice in two years, which I wouldn't call record-breaking.) After all, the likelihood of a recurrence was actually pretty low, considering that both were sparked off by Affils-related discussions, which we seemed to have agreed wouldn't happen anymore.

Thing is, you're smart, so I can't see that you wouldn't have seen that as an option and engaged me in conversation about this at least a week ago, instead of hitting me with the decision at the last minute. I won't speculate on why you might have waited so long before saying anything, same as I won't speculate on why you didn't want to have a discussion about my remaining in 7th Sea in the first place. I'm simply pointing out that there was a choice, and you made it. Please don't make out as if there were no other options.