Us and Them?

[thessalian]

I really need to ask - what's with this whole "us and them" mentality?

Charleston by Night is still being rocked by the debate - should we reset the board, should we move to a new setting entirely, should we try to pick up where we left off or should we let it die? I'm also having discussions with one of the board members about why the hell he has to be so negative about those who have served as staff on the boards. And surprisingly enough, he thought about the things I said to him, posted a public apology and then came to talk to me again. He said something about seeing the people he converses with online as 'less real', and that the added "us and them" factor of the staff/player relationship as he perceives it supplied one extra level of remove that allowed him to be a total prick.

There are two problems with that. One is that it discounts the human factor altogether. Someone needs to be sitting at the computer on the other end, typing that response or running that scene or telling him no. There has to be a real human being doing that, because we haven't got the AI for anything else yet. These responses to online conversation never read like form letters, and often they're in real time, so ... surely there has to be a human being on the other end? You know, someone who shares at least one major interest with you. Honestly, how different are human beings from one another at the end of the day? They may have different beliefs or different forms of expression, but they're still human beings with thoughts and, more importantly, feelings to be hurt. And I don't think there's a human being alive who can put a buttload of effort - voluntarily, with no reward other than to enjoy the experience themselves - into making sure that people enjoy themselves and then not feel bad when someone not only discounts their efforts as being of little importance, but also complains and bitches about that effort not being the 'right' one. There's that one about "Don't count teeth in a gift-horse". There's the other one about "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". I would feel gutted if I took the time and effort to run a game like that and then, when things were going wrong both in my real life and in the game, all people could do was shit all over me. I don't feel that any of them deserve that; the whole damn bunch of them deserve my respect, admiration and gratitude, and they have it. And when I do get my own RPG set up (coming soon to a web host near you, folks), I can only hope that I do as half a good a job as they did.

Second thing, and something I've learned from tabletop RPing - staff are players too. What is this "us and them" shit? It's a game, and anyone participating is a player in that game. That includes the person running it. Any RP should be no more for the staff than for the players, true, but it shouldn't be less for them, if you see what I mean. It's supposed to be fun for everyone. A ST should not forget that players should and indeed must be allowed to influence the plot, but a player should never forget that the ST has as much of a right to enjoy the experience as the other players do. That should mean that there is no "them" - only "us". Anyone who says different ... well, that's their prerogative, but I wouldn't want to ST for them, I must admit. The power to deny should not automatically mean distance - not if there's trust there. And I have seen nothing to indicate that the staff of Charleston by Night have not earned that trust - at least, not from me. And the person I've talked to who does have trust issues with them ... well, I've heard it from both sides, and frankly he has no real grounds for those issues. I don't see where he was treated unfairly, though I have tried. Not getting what you want does not automatically mean unfairness.

The one thing I'm getting a little sick of, though, is the focus on the 'old school' players. No, they haven't had any new blood in awhile - I think I'm the newest really active member, at least on Mage. Some of it might have to do with some of the character acceptance restrictions, or maybe people have their own games. I know dodgyhoodoo dropped off because most of the active RPing was in chat, which tended to happen at times that just didn't fit his schedule. It's hard to join in something that's so well established, I admit. However, those who don't think the effort is worth it aren't worth having. I'm used to joining in on games that have been running a good long time, and (all false modesty aside) it's a testament to my role-playing abilities that I've always managed it. I managed it in 7th Sea. I managed it in Hollow City. I managed it in Chicago (gods help me). And I managed it extremely well in Charleston. Frankly, if Charleston hadn't been as well established as it was when I first got a look at it, I wouldn't have joined. I didn't want to deal with n00bs or any outright stupidity - I wanted a game where I could come in from a position of ignorance and there would be people (and not just those who held a staff position) who would be able to help me figure things out. That's what I got, and I wouldn't have come in half as well without them. Starting all over again with new characters and a new city would just rob people of the benefits I got when I started. That seems unfair.

Okay, so this has been a really long rant about something that only a few people who read this (not all of them with LJ accounts of their own - hi, guys!) know or care about, so I've put it under a cut. Still, any of you who are on Charleston by Night, I encourage you to read this. Let me know if I'm being wrong-headed about this. I just want us to work things out so that we can go back to having the fun I know we can have. I've lost a whole lot of great RPing to stupidity, and even if I wasn't a part of the backbiting recriminations and general shit that's gone on in Charleston by Night, I still have no wish to lose yet another fantastic role-playing experience to things that could be solved if all parties involved would just put aside the "us and them" mentality and the tendency to blame people for being human, pitch right in and help fix it. Maybe I'm wrong; I dunno. Maybe it can't be worked out. But damnit, not even trying just belittles all the time and effort that all the players, staff included, have put into giving us all so much pleasure over the months or, in most cases, years.

I enjoyed the NaNo meet-up, what little of it I attended. I wound up sitting in a corner of the upstairs room at the Round Table, talking to three guys I remember from previous years and a couple of new-to-me faces about zombies, travel, novels-gone-awry and all the other wild and whacked-out stuff that writer-types talk about. Unfortunately, ill health meant that I could only spend a couple of hours, but it was fun while it lasted. Still looking forward to NaNo; we in fact all agreed that NaNo's really not all that hard, provided you are the sort of person who can put aside their faff for a month and work on the novel in all the time people generally waste in front of the telly or what have you. Then again, the six of us at that particular table are the type who are constantly inspired, somewhat dedicated and don't often get writer's block. Others probably aren't so lucky, so we could really only speak for ourselves in that case.

And incidentally, I still feel like crud.

Comments

[fearmeforiampink]

While it certainly doesn't make his actions a reasonable think to do, communicating through messengers or internet boards does add a level of disconnection from the results of what you say. Because you don't see peoples faces and thus their reactions to what you say, it's much easier to say things that you wouldn't otherwise. It's why people often tell more personal information over the internet than they normally would, and I'd say it's part of the issue here.