Let's (not) go to the movies
Mar. 6th, 2006 08:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thessalianSo for the next little while, my friends list is going to be full of screaming about the Oscars (through ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
metaquotes if nothing else). I am amused that there was an apparent theme of "DVDs are Evil, Keep Big-Screen Entertainment Alive!" at the Oscars this year, though. Part of the reason for this? I haven't seen a single one of the films that were up for nomination. Those I intend to see, I am waiting for the DVD. Because, hey, while I'm interested, I'm not that interested. In fact, even minus the migraines, I'm not really all that interested in the cinema at all.
Look at it this way: when I used to live in Letchworth, the Broadway cinema was my port of call if I wanted to go watch a film. It was, at that time, an old, single-screen cinema that had never been refurbished so it had this fading but still extant glamour to it. The seats were large and comfy, the snacks were not overpriced (no popcorn, but just as well, due to all the crunching and the fact that this country can't do decent buttery popcorn anyway), they switched films once every couple of weeks as an incentive to keep people coming in, and there was a balcony. All was good. Then Odeon bought it. Suddenly, it was like every other multiplex in the world. Overpriced tickets to pay for the new screens and seats, despite the fact that they put in the extra screens and seats to get more customers and thus more money. Tiny seats that, I'm sorry, discriminate wildly against fat people in their attempt to get more seats, and hence more bums in seats, into the cinema. The concession stand that sells bad hot dogs, dry popcorn and nachos covered in orange protoplasm at wildly inflated prices. Three relatively tiny screens with more Dolby Surround Sound than you technically need in an insulated concrete box. And thus it was that I lost interest in the Broadway.
I think you see where I'm going with this. Leaving aside the whole thing about crying children, rude bastards talking through the whole film (either amongst themselves or on their cellphone, which incidentally winds up ringing at the worst possible time) and people trying to record it for download, going to the cinema is no longer the event it used to be. It's a little more like going to Starbucks; paying against the odds for the privilege of being uncomfortable while enjoying something that you could enjoy more comfortably at home.
This wouldn't bother me as much if there were more worthwhile films to watch. From what I can tell, though, mainstream cinema is the same every year, with a few exceptions. There's at least one book-to-film adaptation that gets more kudos than it actually deserves by standing on the shoulders of a really good author, a few "cause celebre" flicks (Brokeback Mountain fit both those categories this year), the inevitable foreign breakaway 'hit' (read: someone in the US has heard of it), an action film trying to be deeper than it really is ... and then the wave of 'date movies' (and all the gods that walk the earth and crawl beneath save us from the upcoming Date Movie), 'guy' movies full of fart jokes and crude sexual humour, and sci-fi "spectaculars" that are judged almost entirely by how much blows up and how many people get semi-nude. Oh, and something by Disney. Or that looks close enough to Disney to make no odds. Now, really, does this line-up sound worth anywhere from £6.50 to £12.00 (depending on where you're seeing it)?
There are films that I can't wait to see. Silent Hill, for example, looks worth the price of the ticket. I had to see what they did with Serenity due to how much I enjoyed Firefly, and wanted to see Saw II right away because of how taken I was with the original. I want to see The Proposition when it comes out because it sounds like a fascinating concept. I've waited long enough to see V for Vendetta, thank you (don't see why they couldn't have released it on 5 November like they were supposed to; does that lend it too much weight?). But they're few and far between, because I get migraines when I go to the cinema and so I'm not only paying above the odds for minor discomfort but actually paying money for the 60% chance of excruciating pain. So it has to be worth it for me to go. I'm betting other people feel the same way, for one reason or another.
So a message to Hollywood. Instead of pimping the cinematic experience at the Oscars, why not try making it worth our while to go? Try producing something other than tat once in awhile, and we might come back. Actually, same goes for the music industry. WAKE UP, PEOPLE! We can only be stooges to the consumer instinct for so long...
metaquotes if nothing else). I am amused that there was an apparent theme of "DVDs are Evil, Keep Big-Screen Entertainment Alive!" at the Oscars this year, though. Part of the reason for this? I haven't seen a single one of the films that were up for nomination. Those I intend to see, I am waiting for the DVD. Because, hey, while I'm interested, I'm not that interested. In fact, even minus the migraines, I'm not really all that interested in the cinema at all.Look at it this way: when I used to live in Letchworth, the Broadway cinema was my port of call if I wanted to go watch a film. It was, at that time, an old, single-screen cinema that had never been refurbished so it had this fading but still extant glamour to it. The seats were large and comfy, the snacks were not overpriced (no popcorn, but just as well, due to all the crunching and the fact that this country can't do decent buttery popcorn anyway), they switched films once every couple of weeks as an incentive to keep people coming in, and there was a balcony. All was good. Then Odeon bought it. Suddenly, it was like every other multiplex in the world. Overpriced tickets to pay for the new screens and seats, despite the fact that they put in the extra screens and seats to get more customers and thus more money. Tiny seats that, I'm sorry, discriminate wildly against fat people in their attempt to get more seats, and hence more bums in seats, into the cinema. The concession stand that sells bad hot dogs, dry popcorn and nachos covered in orange protoplasm at wildly inflated prices. Three relatively tiny screens with more Dolby Surround Sound than you technically need in an insulated concrete box. And thus it was that I lost interest in the Broadway.
I think you see where I'm going with this. Leaving aside the whole thing about crying children, rude bastards talking through the whole film (either amongst themselves or on their cellphone, which incidentally winds up ringing at the worst possible time) and people trying to record it for download, going to the cinema is no longer the event it used to be. It's a little more like going to Starbucks; paying against the odds for the privilege of being uncomfortable while enjoying something that you could enjoy more comfortably at home.
This wouldn't bother me as much if there were more worthwhile films to watch. From what I can tell, though, mainstream cinema is the same every year, with a few exceptions. There's at least one book-to-film adaptation that gets more kudos than it actually deserves by standing on the shoulders of a really good author, a few "cause celebre" flicks (Brokeback Mountain fit both those categories this year), the inevitable foreign breakaway 'hit' (read: someone in the US has heard of it), an action film trying to be deeper than it really is ... and then the wave of 'date movies' (and all the gods that walk the earth and crawl beneath save us from the upcoming Date Movie), 'guy' movies full of fart jokes and crude sexual humour, and sci-fi "spectaculars" that are judged almost entirely by how much blows up and how many people get semi-nude. Oh, and something by Disney. Or that looks close enough to Disney to make no odds. Now, really, does this line-up sound worth anywhere from £6.50 to £12.00 (depending on where you're seeing it)?
There are films that I can't wait to see. Silent Hill, for example, looks worth the price of the ticket. I had to see what they did with Serenity due to how much I enjoyed Firefly, and wanted to see Saw II right away because of how taken I was with the original. I want to see The Proposition when it comes out because it sounds like a fascinating concept. I've waited long enough to see V for Vendetta, thank you (don't see why they couldn't have released it on 5 November like they were supposed to; does that lend it too much weight?). But they're few and far between, because I get migraines when I go to the cinema and so I'm not only paying above the odds for minor discomfort but actually paying money for the 60% chance of excruciating pain. So it has to be worth it for me to go. I'm betting other people feel the same way, for one reason or another.
So a message to Hollywood. Instead of pimping the cinematic experience at the Oscars, why not try making it worth our while to go? Try producing something other than tat once in awhile, and we might come back. Actually, same goes for the music industry. WAKE UP, PEOPLE! We can only be stooges to the consumer instinct for so long...
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no subject
Date: 2006-03-06 12:16 pm (UTC)I'm just puzzled why the Hollywood machine spends so much more time bemoaning the fate of the big-screen industry it's helped to kill off through homogenisation than trying to figure out a new costing / investment model that can properly cope with DVDs and online content delivery.
(I'm also puzzled why the same machine sinks so much cash into doomed attempts to shoehorn books and comics into 2 1/2 hours' worth of film, when a high-quality mini-series would cost less, but that's another story...)
no subject
Date: 2006-03-06 01:25 pm (UTC)Movie comes out. Movie is successful. Film industry bods say, "Wow, we made a phenomenal amount of money! This is obviously what the people want! Now, rather than risking not making phenomenal amounts of money by experimenting with new formats, we'll use this success as the basis for a formula by which we can guarantee a massive return!" Cycle repeats. People get bored. Clone of Movie has lower ticket sales. Film industry bods say, "Huh; we're not making phenomenal amounts of money. Instead, we are only making large amounts of money. There can't be anything wrong with our formula, because everyone knows that The Public are mindless peons whose behaviour and desires can be predicted through mathematics and entirely bent to our whim by marketing savvy. It must be the DVD market and those darn pirates!"
The Formula, as far as I can tell, involves girls in skimpy costumes, physical humour, vulgarity, stuff blowing up, guns a go-go, at least one nightclub scene and faux wit. The Formula does not include mini-series because people's attention spans aren't long enough according to The Formula. Except 'those fanboy freaks', and The Formula has a sub-section on what happens to anything 'those fanboy freaks' really like that isn't entirely accessible to kids (read: based on a children's book). It reads "REMEMBER THE STAR WARS PREQUELS AND EVERYTHING JOSS WHEDON DID AFTER BUFFY". The Formula states that people can only deal with a 2.5hr chunk of explosions, guns, firefights and girls in bra-tops and/or leather, and very little in the way of plot. So we get Catwoman. And Electra. Need I go on?
no subject
Date: 2006-03-06 06:21 pm (UTC)Everything Joss Whedon did after Buffy: Hey, yeah, the promising ones killed by the networks because they somehow failed to bring in megabucks when played opposite Friends and the like. Who knew.
Gah. Depressing. I suppose the only thing is for the next bunch of "maverick" (TM) creators to get on with doing their thang and wait a few years for the industry to notice the trend...
Makes me wonder, though - don't any of the the network PTBs actually read media magazines or commentary? And if not - how come they actually have jobs? Pay attention to your sector, people. It's moving, you're not.