SPCOE Missive 2
Jan. 27th, 2005 01:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thessalianThroughout the globe, an untold number of electronic devices are in torment. Denied their rights to a dignified retirement, millions of computers, printers, fax machines -- even electric pencil sharpeners -- are enslaved within their 21st century environment, forced to cope with a workload to which they are no longer suited. The greed and tyranny of resource managers worldwide must come to an end.
Therefore, the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Office Equipment urges you to petition within your office building for the Electronic Artefact Retirement Plan. Computers struggling under the burden of an insuportable workload would be removed from their unsuitable environment and replaced with younger, stronger models. However, unlike horses being put out to pasture, these artefacts could retain a useful, active life by being rehomed with caring families who would cherish them and ask nothing more taxing of them than a printout of Gilmore Girls fan fiction.
Some lucky computers might even be chosen by the Frankenstein Foundation to participate in the Geeks for Boxen Component Donation Programme. The Frankenstein Foundation, consisting of three hardware enthusiasts in a small council estate in Milton Keynes, have pooled their resources to build better, faster computers out of any components available. By participation in the Geeks for Boxen Programme, some computers may gain a new lease on life and be joyfully running Halo 3 for some pimply socially challenged genius well into the next decade.
In conclusion, the SPCOE urges you to be kind to your office electronics. IT Support can only do so much; an aging computer or fax machine needs your tender loving care if it is to survive the burdens placed upon it by your company.
JLN
Founder, SPCOE
Therefore, the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Office Equipment urges you to petition within your office building for the Electronic Artefact Retirement Plan. Computers struggling under the burden of an insuportable workload would be removed from their unsuitable environment and replaced with younger, stronger models. However, unlike horses being put out to pasture, these artefacts could retain a useful, active life by being rehomed with caring families who would cherish them and ask nothing more taxing of them than a printout of Gilmore Girls fan fiction.
Some lucky computers might even be chosen by the Frankenstein Foundation to participate in the Geeks for Boxen Component Donation Programme. The Frankenstein Foundation, consisting of three hardware enthusiasts in a small council estate in Milton Keynes, have pooled their resources to build better, faster computers out of any components available. By participation in the Geeks for Boxen Programme, some computers may gain a new lease on life and be joyfully running Halo 3 for some pimply socially challenged genius well into the next decade.
In conclusion, the SPCOE urges you to be kind to your office electronics. IT Support can only do so much; an aging computer or fax machine needs your tender loving care if it is to survive the burdens placed upon it by your company.
JLN
Founder, SPCOE