Rock. [me] Hard Place.
Jul. 30th, 2004 01:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thessalianOh, this is incredibly stupid.
Simson's moving in a couple of weeks and needs the time to reorganise and pack. This brings the whole group back down to five people. Fuckmuffins. I've already dropped out! Also gave up dibs on the one character I actually wanted to play -- I don't get Mentat or Bene Gesserit -- actually, I don't get Suk either -- but "medic" is something that I can actually understand.
I have two options at this point:
1) I can stay dropped out, let Andy P find his own damn sixth player and keep my distance from the whole mess.
2) I can swallow my damnable pride and assorted misgivings and say (with as much good grace as possible in the circumstances), "Fine, count me in -- I'll just take whatever character no one else wants".
Neither prospect appeals, really. I go back in, I go back on a decision (I hate doing that) despite my misgivings. I stay out, I feel like I'm distancing myself for no good reason and probably seem ungrateful or something. Not to mention the fact that I put Andy P in the position of having to find a sixth player when I could fix that particular matter handily.
See? These are the perils and pitfalls of actually having something remotely resembling a code of social behaviour. I used to think that everyone tried to be considerate of the needs and thoughts of others and tried to maintain a balance between self-sacrifice and self-interest. But it's times like these I really envy all the people that I know who don't actually give a crap. I know a few people who don't appear to give a single thought for the needs of others; people who say whatever they like however they like and then either ignore the reactions of others or seem surprised that anyone might take their statement any way but the one in which they meant it. In short, people who don't think for one moment longer than they have to about thoughts, feelings or anything they cannot or will not comprehend. Let me tell you, I envy these people enormously at times like this, because they sure as hell don't have the Scylla and Charybdis problem -- or rather, they see neither rock nor hard place. God knows why these people haven't completely crashed and burned by now -- maybe it's just because their boats are stronger.
Between that and the being ill, I just want to curl up in a little ball and die. I get the feeling that Saturday is right off.
Simson's moving in a couple of weeks and needs the time to reorganise and pack. This brings the whole group back down to five people. Fuckmuffins. I've already dropped out! Also gave up dibs on the one character I actually wanted to play -- I don't get Mentat or Bene Gesserit -- actually, I don't get Suk either -- but "medic" is something that I can actually understand.
I have two options at this point:
1) I can stay dropped out, let Andy P find his own damn sixth player and keep my distance from the whole mess.
2) I can swallow my damnable pride and assorted misgivings and say (with as much good grace as possible in the circumstances), "Fine, count me in -- I'll just take whatever character no one else wants".
Neither prospect appeals, really. I go back in, I go back on a decision (I hate doing that) despite my misgivings. I stay out, I feel like I'm distancing myself for no good reason and probably seem ungrateful or something. Not to mention the fact that I put Andy P in the position of having to find a sixth player when I could fix that particular matter handily.
See? These are the perils and pitfalls of actually having something remotely resembling a code of social behaviour. I used to think that everyone tried to be considerate of the needs and thoughts of others and tried to maintain a balance between self-sacrifice and self-interest. But it's times like these I really envy all the people that I know who don't actually give a crap. I know a few people who don't appear to give a single thought for the needs of others; people who say whatever they like however they like and then either ignore the reactions of others or seem surprised that anyone might take their statement any way but the one in which they meant it. In short, people who don't think for one moment longer than they have to about thoughts, feelings or anything they cannot or will not comprehend. Let me tell you, I envy these people enormously at times like this, because they sure as hell don't have the Scylla and Charybdis problem -- or rather, they see neither rock nor hard place. God knows why these people haven't completely crashed and burned by now -- maybe it's just because their boats are stronger.
Between that and the being ill, I just want to curl up in a little ball and die. I get the feeling that Saturday is right off.
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no subject
Date: 2004-07-30 07:09 am (UTC)He may need a little subtle nudging though ...
Just a thought.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-30 06:47 pm (UTC)Well, a Suk is a medical order - they train doctors that, supposedly, can't be influenced to harm anyone. A Mentat is a person who's trained their mind, so that they're the organic equivalent of a computer - in Dune society, humaniform robots aren't allowed. The Bene Gesserit is an all-female order - they train women to be concubines, spies, and the like. You should try reading Dune; it's a good series.
As for the dilemma, I think that you should ask what characters are available, and make your choice from there.
Sorry you couldn't meet up with me. Have a good weekend. *hugs*