thessalian: (defensive)
[personal profile] thessalian
People's attitudes to office phones bug me.

Look, it's fairly simple. You spend the majority of the day -- nine 'til five at least with a lunch break anywhere between half an hour and an hour -- sitting at your desk. On your desk, there is a phone. While personal calls on office time are frowned upon, it's not exactly verboten either. And it's a fuck of a lot less annoying than mobile phones blaring every thirty seconds. Don't I get this enough on the train? Simple message: GIVE PEOPLE YOUR OFFICE PHONE NUMBER, DUMBFUCK. I don't care if you've got the latest polyphonic ringtone. I know there's always stress in the workplace, but surely there's enough without a .midi of the latest chart ear-rape bugling at you from half a dozen different points around the office.

Even if the one you want to talk to is one of those people who's apparently never at their desk, there's no excuse for the constant mobile phone ringing. If you're that concerned that your party may not be at their desk, for fuck's sake, text them! Find out where they are and then ring them! It will save us the endless hassle of having to listen to someone's abandoned but still switched on mobile blaring a cheap, tinny rendition of "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" until the phone finally gets the idea and voicemails your dumb arse.

Oh, and incidentally, pick up your phone when it rings. Simple concept? You'd think. But noooo; people don't get the idea that you can stop typing, or opening post, or doing your nails for the second or two it takes to pick up the handset from the cradle and wedge it between your ear and your shoulder. Some of us would like to hear our phone when it rings, thank you. And if you're away from your desk, set it to voicemail. Set it to pick up after two or three rings. People won't get their hopes up about speaking to a human being if you follow this simple piece of voicemail etiquette. (I know how it sounds, but in the NHS, the longer the phone rings, the more likely it is that a human will answer you at the other end. The only things that pick up in less than five rings are the electronic switchboard voice recording, the occasional voicemail, and me.)

I'm beginning to think that Alexander Graham Bell -- or whoever really invented the telephone, because there was that whole patent war thing on one of the edutainment channels awhile back -- wasn't a genius at all. I think he was an evil mastermind put on this earth to end communication on the planet. Phones gave us an easier way of hiding behind the sofa when undesirables like Jehovah's Witnesses, double-glazing salesmen and ex-girlfriends come calling. When the answering machine came along, we started screening and playing voicemail-tag. Caller-ID and mobile phones allow you to see who's calling and reject the undesirable right through to your voicemail without even hearing the other person's voice. Text messaging ... well, the only phenomenon that's been more damaging to the English language is AOL. And e-mails can be marked read and just trashed with minimal effort -- hell, we have filters and address block so we don't even have to see the e-mails we don't want. You don't even have to communicate with any specific person anymore -- with LiveJournal, you can spew out a generalised rant about, say, the decline of communication with the introduction of higher levels of communications technology and have everyone you know and care about -- and a lot of people you don't -- knowing exactly how you feel. That's not communication; that's an editorial page.

In short, communications technology has destroyed communication.

(Yes, I do have a mobile phone. It plays Puddle of Mudd. I'm accusing myself along with the rest of you. Except I do turn out text messages that use spelling, capitalisation and punctuation in all the right places, and correct grammar. So nyah.)

Date: 2004-06-02 07:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nadriel.livejournal.com
Yes! Grammar nazi's of the world unite. Let the ingrates that destroy the English language bow before our might!

Date: 2004-06-02 05:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] caira.livejournal.com
... assuming we can get our apostrophes in the right place's? ;o)

And yes, I'd like to second you on the whole SMS thing. Christ, it's not that hard to use punctuation, people; you'd think that whole predictive text thing (which isn't restricted to the alphabet, might I add) would encourage people to spell shit correctly, but no...

Date: 2004-06-02 11:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nadriel.livejournal.com
Gaaaah! Mea Culpa.

That'll teach me to type on the run :-)

Date: 2004-06-02 09:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nitebytes.livejournal.com
gilty az charged. u need 2 tell ur office ppl 2 turn off their fonez tho. it does get rly bad.

OK, so I'm guilty of hacking up the English language when sending SMS's. Mainly that's so as I can fit as much in to one message as possible.
Happy hunting.

Date: 2004-06-02 02:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thm.livejournal.com

I turn my phone off in the hospital myself. And call me a bluff old traditionalist, but I like 'ring ring'. ^_^

Date: 2004-06-03 01:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 50ftqueenie.livejournal.com
First off, around these parts cellular phones are not allowed turned ON in the local hospitals. It has something to do with hospital equiptment going haywire (heart patients' monitors I believe) Secondly, if one DID absolutely need a cellular, why not use it on 'vibrate' mode?

Date: 2004-06-03 02:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thessalian.livejournal.com
That actually only applies in certain parts of hospitals -- yes, anywhere with equipment like heart monitors, dialysis machines or other sensitive equipment. In admin-only sections, or anyplace that's open to the general public (canteen, lobby, common room etc), it's no holds barred on the mobile phone.

As for vibrate mode, yeah, that's great until someone leaves it on a desk and walks away for half an hour. Someone rings and it's "shimmy-shimmy-bop" and half a day's work and a half-empty mug of lukewarm mug of coffee winds up in the wastebin, with the phone lying innocently on top of the whole mess.

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