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thessalianSo I read the Fandom Secrets LJ community. Most of the fandoms, I don't get or know anything about. I scan the daily secrets posts for a) some indication of what wank is out there in fandoms I've been studiously avoiding in the hopes I'll know when the batshit crazy dies down and I can just ... y'know, watch TV, b) pretty artwork and things I might be interested in and c) the very rare occasion when there's a secret about a fandom I actually like. (Oddly, most common is Dragon Age Origins, with A Song of Ice and Fire coming in a distant second, not counting the brief inundation of White Collar flail because while I like the show, I'm not a fan the way I am of, say, Leverage.)
There's a lot of batshit crazy there, and a lot of people using the anonymity to talk about their sexual fantasies to a public forum in an attempt to not feel so alone, I guess. So I skim, I groan, I laugh, I more or less let it go.
Except for one running theme:
"I want [insert character/actor/singer name/picture] to rape me."
I could start talking about everything I find wrong with this, but I would need awhile to finish. And there's only so many millenia before the sun goes nova. I think my main issue is that these people are making the statement in a manner that implies that they want to be grabbed, forced onto a bed/against a wall/whatever, divested of their clothing and fucked 'til they scream. That's not rape: that's rough sex. Some people really like rough sex. You know, "rip my clothes off and fuck me 'til I scream for mercy" sex. It's a thing. Whatever turns you on and gets you off, y'know? But that is not the same thing as rape. Rape is a non-consensual invasion; rough sex is just ... omnomroughsexnom. No one gets a pass on trivialising rape by throwing it into the same basic pot as BDSM - I don't care how young, inexperienced or blinded by rape fantasy fetish they are. Clarify, people.
The rule on use of that word is as follows: "Sex is not rape as long as both parties consent, no matter how rough it is. The moment that one party stops wanting the sex, it becomes rape if the other party does not stop." Period, end of statement. But anyone who turns around and says that they want to be raped has obviously never been in a situation when they have been forced, either by physical means or by mental/emotional bludgeoning or, most often, some combination of the two, to perform or submit to a sexual act against their will. I have - it wasn't straight-up penetrative-sex-rape, but only because I gave in and went down on the unbelievable bastard to avoid things escalating further. (I should have bitten his todger off, really.) So you can imagine I don't take kindly to this crap.
That's my rant of the day. Tune in tomorrow for Dresden drabble and me bitching about the Digital Economy Bill, which apparently just got past the Lords. Woo.
There's a lot of batshit crazy there, and a lot of people using the anonymity to talk about their sexual fantasies to a public forum in an attempt to not feel so alone, I guess. So I skim, I groan, I laugh, I more or less let it go.
Except for one running theme:
"I want [insert character/actor/singer name/picture] to rape me."
I could start talking about everything I find wrong with this, but I would need awhile to finish. And there's only so many millenia before the sun goes nova. I think my main issue is that these people are making the statement in a manner that implies that they want to be grabbed, forced onto a bed/against a wall/whatever, divested of their clothing and fucked 'til they scream. That's not rape: that's rough sex. Some people really like rough sex. You know, "rip my clothes off and fuck me 'til I scream for mercy" sex. It's a thing. Whatever turns you on and gets you off, y'know? But that is not the same thing as rape. Rape is a non-consensual invasion; rough sex is just ... omnomroughsexnom. No one gets a pass on trivialising rape by throwing it into the same basic pot as BDSM - I don't care how young, inexperienced or blinded by rape fantasy fetish they are. Clarify, people.
The rule on use of that word is as follows: "Sex is not rape as long as both parties consent, no matter how rough it is. The moment that one party stops wanting the sex, it becomes rape if the other party does not stop." Period, end of statement. But anyone who turns around and says that they want to be raped has obviously never been in a situation when they have been forced, either by physical means or by mental/emotional bludgeoning or, most often, some combination of the two, to perform or submit to a sexual act against their will. I have - it wasn't straight-up penetrative-sex-rape, but only because I gave in and went down on the unbelievable bastard to avoid things escalating further. (I should have bitten his todger off, really.) So you can imagine I don't take kindly to this crap.
That's my rant of the day. Tune in tomorrow for Dresden drabble and me bitching about the Digital Economy Bill, which apparently just got past the Lords. Woo.
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Date: 2010-03-18 10:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-20 12:47 pm (UTC)Yikes. Yeah, you probably should've left his trouser-rat on the pavement; it's wasted on him anyway. I hope this wasn't any of the other exen; I'd hate to be in a club that had someone like that as a member.