Sometimes, Memes Get INSANE

[thessalian]

Okay, it's been so long since I did this that I don't even remember the questions, and there are a few new characters to add to the list now anyway. And so, the Character Crack Meme. The idea is courtesy ilyena_sylph, but having looked at her version ... none of these questions can be answered at all on the grounds that I predominantly play my own gender. So I'm going to have to weed through meme-posts to find the old one. Whee.

Surely we all know the rules to this by now?
Pick 12 characters, don't look, and then answer the questions.

1. Astrid Hawthorn, cheery CyberCultist
2. Felicity Prentis, urban horror author Child of Gaia stuck in London's urban sprawl
3. Kezia Lakatos, storytelling TV-wrecking Gypsy Eshu stripper thing
4. Solita Giovanni, incestuous vampiric Italian interrogator sociopath
5. Hannelore Brigstocke (aka Lorrie Briggs), twitchy little Corax
6. Grace Curran, Glasswalker auto mechanic and ballerina
7. Nina Gordon, voudon Dreamspeaker and former med student
8. Alison Smith, ostensibly Avalon Jenny with A Past
9. Travesty Moran, healer and new resident of Brighton Below
10. Sgt Beth 'Hard-Bitch' Taylor, cybernetically enhanced Void Engineer
11. Leah Burden, foodie fencing firestarter
12. Kayla, bardic Barbarian Zenith Solar Exalt


1) Who would make a better college professor: 6, or 11?

...Leah, probably. The Mental Attributes were never Grace's strong point, and she was actually kind of thick. Leah was another former medical student before she ran away from home after accidentally torching her brother, so I'm assuming she'd manage to actually teach people things. Then again, given the marginally controlled pyrokinesis, she wouldn't be the best choice either.

2) Do you think 2 is hot? How hot?

I think Fliss is attractive, but doesn't feature on a hotness scale despite having Appearance 3 because she actively tries to tone down her appearance. She has no particular desire to attract just any old body on the grounds of an eventual responsibility to her bloodline and the Garou as a whole, so she's just ... there, fading into the background in jeans and an old army jacket.

3) 12 sends 8 on a mission. What is it, and does it succeed?

Kayla sending Alison on a mission? It'd be something social, no doubt about it - Kayla was never very good at that kind of thing. Probably seduction. Or potentially some nice, quiet poisoning. Both might succeed reasonably well, provided Alison could ditch Pietro before getting started (negotiable).

4) What is, or would be, 9's favourite book?

Neverwhere, perhaps. Just to make some of her new world make some damn sense.

5) Would it make more sense for 2 to swear fealty to 6, or the other way around?

And both werewolves are up for this question this time around! Well, they're both Galliards of equal Rank, but I don't know how much Fliss would respect Grace, to be honest - Grace being flighty, stupidly optimistic and not very bright. And given that Grace admires strength of character, probably it'd make more sense for her to swear fealty to Fliss rather than the other way around.

6) For some reason, 5 is looking for a room-mate. Should they share a studio apartment with 9, or 10?

..........BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!
*ahem* Would Lorrie do better sharing space with Travesty "I used to be a god" Moran or with Sergeant Hard-Bitch Taylor?!? Oh, that's a crackfic waiting to happen.
Um. Well. Probably Travesty, in all seriousness. Both of them love getting information, even if Travesty isn't so free with hers as Lorrie can be (gods, love the Corax), and in the end, Lorrie's just too twitchy to share space with a Void Engineer.

7) 2, 7, and 12 have dinner together. Where do they go, and what do they discuss?

Fliss, Nina and Kayla - yet more crackfic. Where they would go would probably be someplace with simple food for those dining on a budget - I don't think any of them would be picky, anyway. As for what they'd discuss ... um, Fliss and Nina would probably do most of the talking about the occult lore they've both got in spades. Kayla'd probably listen to them both, roll her eyes and spend most of her time focusing on her food.

8) 3 challenges 10 to a duel. What happens?

...And she would, too. If Kizzy challenged Sgt Hard-Bitch to a duel, Sgt Hard-Bitch would laugh in her face for awhile and, if pressed, backhand her into a wall (Primium-enhanced skeleton). Kizzy would then use Veiled Eyes to make herself seem unimportant (fair enough, as she was down and all), get up and knife Sgt Hard-Bitch. Then run like hell before Sgt Hard-Bitch could pull the Great Honkin' Plasma Cannon and hope to stay ahead of the angry Void Engineer until she bled out or lost interest.

9) If 1 stole 8's most precious possession, how would they get it back?

I have such a hard time imaginging Astrid stealing anything. Knowing those two, it would probably be something more like this:

ASTRID: Oh, hello! Good to see you again!
ALISON: Yes, hi; I had a fantastic time last night, just to say...
ASTRID: Well, thank you; so did I. Perhaps a repeat performance might be in order.
ALISON: It might very well be. Oh, incidentally, I meant to ask. Did you happen to find a ring anywhere while you were getting dressed? I'd really like it back - it was a ... oh, you're wearing it!
ASTRID: Oh dear lord, that's yours? I lose track of what I might or might not have bought sometimes. Here; it looks better on you anyway, with your colouring...
ALISON: That's so sweet! I did always think red suited me. Which is fortunate, considering my profession.
ASTRID: Did I owe you for--
ALISON: Oh, don't be silly - I don't charge for recreation! But if you wanted to pay for dinner...
ASTRID: Happy to. Shall we?
ALISON: Let's.

10) Suggest a title for a story in which 7 and 12 both attain what they most desire.

"Cutting the Apron Strings"

11) What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted 4 and 1 to work together?

Astrid ... and Solita. Working ... together. Erm. Possibly the following:

"Okay, you two. You, Miss Hawthorn, want to distract the vampires with internal bits and pieces to prevent them from going after your friends and kicking off a war. You, Signora Giovanni, want to keep the Camarilla occupied with London affairs while your Family does other things elsewhere. Between Astrid's social skills and Solita's subterfuge abilities, go forth and mess with the Cam."

12) If 7 visited you for the weekend, how would you get along?

Reasonably well, I think, once we got over Nina's excessive paranoia. We'd make each other laugh and fill the house with food.

13) If you could command 3 to perform any one task or service for you, what would it be?

Sit and watch Neon Genesis Evangelion in its entirety without throwing the 'infernal telly-box' out a window.

14) Does anyone on your friends list resemble 11 (either in appearance or personality)?

Nnnot so much, actually. None of my friends are quite that mix of shy, self-deprecating and stuffy.

15) If 2 had to choose sides between 4 and 5, which would it be?

Um ... Child of Gaia Galliard. Her elders would strip her of her rank if she sided with a vampire over damn near anyone, much less a Corax.

16) What might 10 shout while charging into battle?

"Come on, you apes; you wanna live forever?"

17) If you chose a song to represent 8, which song would you choose?

The Police - "Roxanne"

18) 1, 6, and 12 are having dim sum at a Chinese restaurant. There is only one scallion pancake left, and they all reach for it at the same time. Who gets to eat it?

Kayla - no manners to speak of, and Astrid and Grace are far too nice but do anything but let her have it.

19) What might be a good pick-up line for 2 to use on 10?

..............
"Ever wondered what it'd be like to have sexual relations without worrying about the weight of your skeleton breaking your partner? Two words - 'Crinos. Form'."

20) What would 5 most likely be arrested for?

I think she'd be trying really hard not to, but given that she hadn't initially gained mastery of the Rite of Talisman Dedication, I'd say public nudity.

21) What is 6's secret?

Her real name is Gloria Steinway, and she's fleeing from her concerned parents because they will simply not understand who and what she has become.

22) If 11 and 9 were racing to a destination, who would get there first?

...Tough call, but I think that Travesty might win simply because she's the more competitive. Leah wouldn't much care.

23) If you had to walk home through a bad neighbourhood late at night, would you feel safer in the company of 7 or 8?

Six of one, half-dozen of the other, really. Nina can handle herself and is good at not being noticeable as someone to mug. Alison can also handle herself, and while she's a bit more of a flamboyant person and thus potentially a greater target, she also doesn't look like someone you want to mess with.

24) 1 and 9 reluctantly team up to save the world from the threat posed by 4's sinister secret organization. 11 volunteers to help them, but it is later discovered that he/she is actually a spy for 4. Meanwhile, 4 has kidnapped 12 in an attempt to force their surrender. Following the wise advice of 5, they seek out 3, who gives them what they need to complete their quest. What title would you give this fic?

Astrid and Travesty team up to save the world from Clan Giovanni. Leah offers to help them but is actually a spy for Solita (despite the fact that Leah's reaction to seeing vampires is to torch them, but I suppose there's Dominate). Meanwhle, Solita has kidnapped Kayla, who is a demigod (perhaps the whole Kayla-died-briefly-awhile-back had repercussions in terms of the effects of Necromancy?) in an attempt to force their surrender. (Which I suppose makes sense; the godlike stuck on earth have got to stick together...) Following the wise advice of Lorrie (a paranoid twitchy little Corax), they seek out Kizzy, who gives them what they need to complete their quest?!? Um.

"Mad Bards and Tower Ravens Both Worship the Midday Sun"?

ASTRID: She's evil.
TRAVESTY: She disturbs Hades' shades. This shall not stand.
ASTRID: Well ... I was going more for the whole "doing untold damage to the world by infesting it with various spirits of eeeevil" angle, but ... you know, whatever works for you.
LEAH: I can help...
TRAVESTY: Your mind has been corrupted by the incubus.
LEAH: No it hasn't!
ASTRID: Seriously; it has.
LEAH: But...
ASTRID: Look, just go home, okay?
LEAH: ...Oh. Alright. (into phone) Told you they'd know I wouldn't help a vampire.
SOLITA: Never mind. I have the scion as a bargaining chip.
LEAH: How'd you kidnap that one, anyway?
SOLITA: Negotiations with Abyssals. They were most intrigued by her.
LEAH: Oooooooh dear.
TRAVESTY: This scion is...
LORRIE: Well, I'm only telling you this because she's as much a child of Helios as I am, in her way. She's a sort of a demigod sent here by the Unconquered Sun because Its Time Has Come Round Again At Last or something to that effect, and anyway, does it matter so much?
TRAVESTY: The sons and daughters of the gods should not be so easily captured.
ASTRID: Oh, come on, be reasonable, Travesty! Sometimes things happen, you know? It's not exactly her fault if that evil vampire cow sent half an army after her!
LORRIE: Shit, you talk more than I do. Anyway, look, I'm a storehouse of information but my delivery's for shit. You want a decent story, go talk to the eerie-looking bombshell with the accent.
ASTRID: Ooooooh, she's so pretty!
TRAVESTY: I would appreciate a bit of focus, if you wouldn't mind...
ASTRID: I'm focused, I'm focused!
KEZIA: You say you have child of god of sun unconquered, in stronghold of Nosferatu. And you wonder what is to be done to conquer Nosferatu?
TRAVESTY: ...What is this ... Nosferatu?
ASTRID: ..........*FACEPALM* Hey, Lorrie! Could you fly a message through to that stronghold if you had coordinates?
LORRIE: Not if you paid me! I'm not going near vamps! Do you know what their Embrace does to us?
ASTRID: And they feed on ravens often?
LORRIE: ..........
KIZZY: Besides which, you have renown amongst those upon London streets as being scourge of group of these leech-things. You, too, are blessed by god of sun, no?
TRAVESTY: Are you, then, of Apollo's blessed?
LORRIE: .......I HATE YOU.
KIZZY: I look forward to great tales of you, raven-one. But I might perhaps cast upon you method in which you may go unseen by evil thing until such time as you might deliver message to other sun-child and perhaps make finish of nonsense.

*Lorrie then proceeds to track Kayla to the stronghold, gets her Anima Banner going big-time, then casts Rite of the Son's Bright Ray and cooks Solita where she stands. Fin.*

Man, that could spawn some crackfic...