Well, that's kind of what this is in aid of. If I try to have it out with him one-on-one, like in e-mail or IM or on the phone, it's going to be a nuthouse -- I'll lose my temper, he'll go into "Pie Esu Domine *thwap*" mode and I, being a complete marshmallow at heart, will try to make him feel better, which somehow serves to negate everything I have tried to tell him. This way, I've had to be calm because, my journal or not, this can be read by other people and it behooves me to be as fair as humanly possible.
Of course, this'll probably put him into "Pie Esu Domine *thwap*" mode anyway and...
You see what I'm getting at? I do want this friendship to work because I know what it's like to have a friend turn their back on you just because something better comes along, or you've become inconvenient. It hurts like hell and I'd never do that to anyone I cared for ... unless there was no other choice. I'm now scrabbling to find another choice because it would not only hurt him if I dumped the friendship, but it would hurt me as well; I'd feel like a bad person and that's not a way I can afford to feel.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2003-09-01 09:53 am (UTC)Of course, this'll probably put him into "Pie Esu Domine *thwap*" mode anyway and...
You see what I'm getting at? I do want this friendship to work because I know what it's like to have a friend turn their back on you just because something better comes along, or you've become inconvenient. It hurts like hell and I'd never do that to anyone I cared for ... unless there was no other choice. I'm now scrabbling to find another choice because it would not only hurt him if I dumped the friendship, but it would hurt me as well; I'd feel like a bad person and that's not a way I can afford to feel.