Back Fence Ramblings

• 17:14 Pondering a rewrite of Chapter 11 (GOLEM GOLEM GOLEM, WE MADE HIM OUT OF CLAY). #
• 21:27 I am here, rather than in Vana'diel, but I have recording to do. Back in ... oh, however long it takes to read two chapters aloud. #
• 21:36 @Asmenedas @CourtCat That's because they're NINJA sharks with frikkin' laser beams. #
• 23:07 @celticlibrarian Must be a specific server then. @warrenellis is having gmail issues too. I don't even have gmail, so I dunno. #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter

Writer's Block: The Greenest Grass

[Error: unknown template qotd]

Let me just state for the record that, while I think it was a badly-phrased question, I don't think that it's a terribly uncommon one and no one should be made to feel guilty for asking just because a bunch of liberated individuals are incensed about the fact that there are still a high number of gender issues powering this 'battle of the sexes' thing. Sorry, guys, but you can talk about 'overgeneralising gender roles' all you want, but the fact is that there is a difference in treatment and options overall, and a difference in who makes each gender feel ashamed of their gender.

Here, as far as I can see it, is the list of people and groups who make women feel ashamed of themselves as women:

- Entertainment media. We're pretty toys, and if we're not pretty toys, in terms of stage and screen roles, we'd better be character actors or we're screwed. Also, genre fiction? You're not going to see a truly strong female role very often unless it was written by a woman. You'll see arse-kicking automaton, and you'll see strong woman until she gets a man, but you won't see a woman who maintains her femininity and still gets ahead very often.

- Politics and business. There are arenas in which women can get ahead, but those two? Not without a lot of sacrifice. Particularly if you're already a mother or intend to start a family, expect no help from the professions. My own mother basically had to parent around her job, instead of working around her parenting, just to get ahead. Fine, that was the 80s, but I doubt it's changed that much. Also, women have to invest a lot more into looking professional than men do, in terms of both money and time. So somehow, it's a balancing act between, "Well, you have to look pretty; what else are you here for?" or "If you want to get ahead in a man's world? Work like a man and forget this 'motherhood' and 'femininity' shit". That's not going to confuse or enrage women, and make them wish at times that they were men so they wouldn't have to deal with this shit?

- Men. I won't say all men, but to a fairly vocal minority at least, we're either 'little women', sluts or 'ball-breaking bitches'. That's nice. Nice generalisations there. And let's not talk about rape. I know men get raped too, but it is less common, and men are less apt to be told they were 'asking for it' because of their style of dress or their behaviour.

- Other women. By this, I mean 'womyn', actually - the kind of female I prefer not to grace with the term 'feminist' because what they're doing is overkill. They seem to think that anyone who believes in equality rather than female superiority is evil. Any woman who sees it that way is a traitor to the cause, and any femininity any woman shows is suspect. If you're a bisexual woman, or a 'lipstick lesbian' who doesn't fall into the 'butch' or 'androgynous' stereotypes, or if you really just believe that your place is in the home raising your children ... then you're a lesser specimen somehow.

Pretty comprehensive list, there. Now let's look at who makes men feel ashamed of being men:

- Womyn. The rampant, militant not-feminists who look at all men as potential rapists and slave-drivers.

...And that's pretty much it, so far as I can see.

I won't say who has it harder. But look at that list. Keep in mind that I am a geek girl who often gets more or less ignored by my little section of the subgenre for my gender. And imagine how I feel. Sometimes, being a woman sucks, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

As to the bit about who has it harder in gender reassignment - MTF or FTM? I'll put it to you this way. It's equally difficult for both parties in terms of coming to terms with the changes, hormone treatment, paperwork, reactions of loved ones and general stress over the procedure, particularly if it's being dealt with even in part through a nationalised health care system. When it comes down to surgery, however ... well, there are things that surgery just cannot accomplish, and it's easier to remove things than to attach them, particularly if you're looking for function. Therefore, I am in total disagreement with the idea that MTF transsexuals have it harder than the other way.