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Am I the only person on the internet who's getting fucking sick to death of "these motherfuckin' snakes on the motherfuckin' plane"? I mean, seriously. Tell me honestly. Am I the only person out there who desperately wants to bludgeon others to death because they WILL NOT SHUT UP about the parody sensation that is half-heartedly sweeping the nation (second-lowest number one in quite some time, people - keep it in mind)? More to the point ... am I the only person who doesn't think it's even remotely funny, even on a conceptual basis?
Now granted, I don't have a good track record with OTT parody anyway. Case in point: the Scary Movie franchise. I do not find that shit funny. Then again, certain kinds of humour escape me at the best of times, which explains my sheer, unabashed loathing for such diverse cinematic experiences as the American Pie franchise (the first was good to a point. The next couple ... even the trailers make me cringe), anything Beavis and Butthead-related, South Park and anything else that seems to feel the need to jump up and down screaming, in its best Carrot Top impression, "LOOK AT ME! I'M RELEVANT BUT IRREVERANT! TOPICAL YET WACKY! I MAKE DICK JOKES AND AM NOT ASHAAAAMED!"
Fuck. That. For gods' sakes, if you're going to be that self-conscious about your topical yet wacky irreverant relevant humour, you're turning yourself into the bastard lovechild of Michael Moore and Kevin Smith. Now yes, I loved Clerks and still do. However, everything after that was "dick joke dick joke coarse humour social commentary Silent Bob does Yoda questionably happy ending" and it got tired. And the less said about Michael Moore the better - because everyone knows you don't speak the name of the undead lest he rise again. He had a good point, yes, but it would have been better made if he'd stopped thinking of himself as a godsdamned celebrity.
Maybe I'm a highbrow elitist snob when it comes to my movies,* but I want topical to either mean something or, more to the point, mesh seamlessly with the damn story. Take X-Men, for example - not just as a film but as a concept. People born different, no matter how special and wonderful their gifts may be, are persecuted just because of how they were born. It echoes every racial problem and even gets into the playground shit of "I don't understand you so I'm just going to mock you or possibly beat the shit out of you". You can almost forget that because of the funky powers and the big bads and whatnot, but every so often there's a glimpse of the whole basis behind the entire franchise - the world does not like people who are different. It's all a part of the pack animal nature that we all ignore. ("What kind of animal would you be if you were an animal?" "Humans are animals.") The imperative that says, "He who stands out shall be driven out or killed because he's fucking with the gene pool."
This appeals to me. Not the concept of difference being a bad thing, but the idea that you can fit a metric fucktonne of social commentary into a overarching plot without being necessarily preachy about it; letting it sink in occasionally between the epic battles and the funky powers, in this case. Not to mention the ever-present reminder that difference isn't always good either (Magneto as a prime example of how power corrupts, particularly at the end of X3, for example).
In short, I wish filmmakers would stop fucking bludgeoning me already. I also wish there was a little more focus on making films with some semblance of merit rather than shoving out crap that they expect to be a cult classic just because it's been all over teh intarwebs. It's a ludicrous storyline, okay? And I'd rather have red-hot, capsaicin-coated needles jammed repeatedly into my eyes than sit through that crap, and one more mention of the motherfuckin' movie will have me making horrible inarticulate noises of rage and finding someone to bludgeon people with. Though I know this is inevitable, because there is the internet hype and everyone seems to be going, "SEE IT SEE IT SEE IT NOW!!!" Why? So I can actually hear the line that's been repeated ad nauseum since the damn thing was announced in context? Why? It's fairly self-explanatory.
In short? I AM SICK OF THIS MOTHERFUCKIN' HYPE ON MY MOTHERFUCKIN' FRIENDS LIST!
There. I feel better.
* = Okay, given my love for the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise and 80s 'chick flicks', possibly not so elitist.
Now granted, I don't have a good track record with OTT parody anyway. Case in point: the Scary Movie franchise. I do not find that shit funny. Then again, certain kinds of humour escape me at the best of times, which explains my sheer, unabashed loathing for such diverse cinematic experiences as the American Pie franchise (the first was good to a point. The next couple ... even the trailers make me cringe), anything Beavis and Butthead-related, South Park and anything else that seems to feel the need to jump up and down screaming, in its best Carrot Top impression, "LOOK AT ME! I'M RELEVANT BUT IRREVERANT! TOPICAL YET WACKY! I MAKE DICK JOKES AND AM NOT ASHAAAAMED!"
Fuck. That. For gods' sakes, if you're going to be that self-conscious about your topical yet wacky irreverant relevant humour, you're turning yourself into the bastard lovechild of Michael Moore and Kevin Smith. Now yes, I loved Clerks and still do. However, everything after that was "dick joke dick joke coarse humour social commentary Silent Bob does Yoda questionably happy ending" and it got tired. And the less said about Michael Moore the better - because everyone knows you don't speak the name of the undead lest he rise again. He had a good point, yes, but it would have been better made if he'd stopped thinking of himself as a godsdamned celebrity.
Maybe I'm a highbrow elitist snob when it comes to my movies,* but I want topical to either mean something or, more to the point, mesh seamlessly with the damn story. Take X-Men, for example - not just as a film but as a concept. People born different, no matter how special and wonderful their gifts may be, are persecuted just because of how they were born. It echoes every racial problem and even gets into the playground shit of "I don't understand you so I'm just going to mock you or possibly beat the shit out of you". You can almost forget that because of the funky powers and the big bads and whatnot, but every so often there's a glimpse of the whole basis behind the entire franchise - the world does not like people who are different. It's all a part of the pack animal nature that we all ignore. ("What kind of animal would you be if you were an animal?" "Humans are animals.") The imperative that says, "He who stands out shall be driven out or killed because he's fucking with the gene pool."
This appeals to me. Not the concept of difference being a bad thing, but the idea that you can fit a metric fucktonne of social commentary into a overarching plot without being necessarily preachy about it; letting it sink in occasionally between the epic battles and the funky powers, in this case. Not to mention the ever-present reminder that difference isn't always good either (Magneto as a prime example of how power corrupts, particularly at the end of X3, for example).
In short, I wish filmmakers would stop fucking bludgeoning me already. I also wish there was a little more focus on making films with some semblance of merit rather than shoving out crap that they expect to be a cult classic just because it's been all over teh intarwebs. It's a ludicrous storyline, okay? And I'd rather have red-hot, capsaicin-coated needles jammed repeatedly into my eyes than sit through that crap, and one more mention of the motherfuckin' movie will have me making horrible inarticulate noises of rage and finding someone to bludgeon people with. Though I know this is inevitable, because there is the internet hype and everyone seems to be going, "SEE IT SEE IT SEE IT NOW!!!" Why? So I can actually hear the line that's been repeated ad nauseum since the damn thing was announced in context? Why? It's fairly self-explanatory.
In short? I AM SICK OF THIS MOTHERFUCKIN' HYPE ON MY MOTHERFUCKIN' FRIENDS LIST!
There. I feel better.
* = Okay, given my love for the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise and 80s 'chick flicks', possibly not so elitist.