Books, Votes and Misanthropy

[thessalian]

Read:
Devices and Desires
Holistic Herbal: A Safe and Practical Guide to Making and Using Herbal Remedies
Cunninghams's Encyclopaedia of Magical Herbs
House of Leaves
The Bloody Chamber
Tipping the Velvet
Furnace
Neutron Star
Neuromancer
Memoirs of a Geisha
Lolita
The Secret History
Dune
The Sicilian
The Book of the Wyrm (Werewolf)
Changeling: the Dreaming
Noblesse Oblige: the Book of Houses (Changeling)
The Fool's Luck: The Way of the Commoner (Changeling)
The Autumn People (Changeling)
The Shadow Court (Changeling)
Inanimae: the Secret Way (Changeling)
The Risen (Wraith)
Spectres (Wraith)
Ananasi: Fangs of the Mother-Queen (Changing Breeds - Werewolf)
Corax (Changing Breeds - Werewolf)
Ratkin (Changing Breeds - Werewolf)
Bastet (Changing Breeds - Werewolf)
Werewolf: the Apocalypse 1st Edition
Wraith: the Oblivion
Vampire: the Masquerade
Clanbook: Toreador (Vampire)
Beowulf
Movies in 15 Minutes

Just Finished
Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass
Total: 34

In Progress:
The Bhagavad Gita
The Bible
The Name of the Rose
The Canterbury Tales
Labyrinth

Currently Reading:
Labyrinth

In other news, I voted. Took part in The Process. And I'm all for making my voice heard, but I don't recall my voice saying anything about "Give the Tories more seats in my borough". *groan* I can't even say, "at least my section of the borough isn't Tory", mainly because West Finchley, my constituency, had a Labour majority. Not sure which is worse anymore.

Look, I'm all for being active in politics. However, due to life stuff and a general desire not to spend my entire life beating my head against brick walls and ranting and raving in a slathering rage about how no one who actually wants to be involved in politics should actually be permitted to run for government because they're all a bunch of power-hungry, lying, cheating, backstabbing, headline-grabbing, blinkered scandalmongering morons, I don't pay very much attention to what's going on in government. When I do, it tends to be big stuff -- national and international, for the most part -- and stuff that touches me in ways I can understand. NHS mismanagement. Public transport mismanagement. Foreign policy. That kind of thing. And seeing that, I am well aware that local government, whatever it might actually try to do, will get nowhere with national government grinding it into the ground with its bootheel, saying "I don't care if it's best for your people; you will do what I think is best." So if voting in a local election, I would have to vote from a position of total ignorance bar a few vague ideas about party politics, probably derived from cheap tabloid press (Metro) and 'Wot I 'eard from some bloke down the pub', or as close to that latter as I ever get. I don't really like making decisions like that from a position of ignorance so, once again, I was pretty much determined that I wasn't going to vote this time around. I don't want to be a part of the real failure of the democratic process, which is not so much apathy as voting in ignorance. After all, people voted Tony in again. People voted Bush in again. Why? Because, I have to believe, they were either completely stupid or hopelessly naive. Possibly both.

However. I was not given the option not to vote this time. Well, technically I was, because it's my life and I'll do what I please, but ... ever had basically the whole damn world guilt-tripping you? I even had Michael wagging a finger at me and telling me to vote. Then I came home and complained to dodgyhoodoo and got that "Well, you should; it's a duty and blah blah blah". It's a duty if you choose to make it one; if you really believe in who you're voting for, of course you believe it's your duty to go and do your part to put them in the seat you believe they deserve. But I haven't got anyone to believe in. I barely know what the parties do in local government, or would do if they were properly funded and managed with even a little bit of common sense. Last brush I had with local government was a three-week stint with Leicester City Council about ten years ago. I don't believe, and I can't exactly feel like it's my personal duty to go into a booth and randomly put checks in boxes. I tried to explain but ... well, upshot was I stormed out of the house, went through the process, put my ticks in various boxes (not Tory or Labour, obviously) and left feeling like a complete and utter fake. And I still feel like a fake. I feel cheap. I feel ignorant. I feel guilty for having been pressured into making a decision in ignorance, even if it ultimately doesn't seem to have made any difference, because if I am going to take part in a process that guides the country in which I am, through circumstance, forced to live, I would like to do it properly, and as it happened, I was unequipped. I let people bully me into doing something I wasn't comfortable with. And why? So I could avoid the reproachful looks and the statment of "You have no right to complain; you didn't even vote".

Well, suck it, the lot of you. I voted, fat lot of good it did, I feel terrible about it and I don't even know what I voted for, so I'm in the same position as I would have been if I hadn't voted at all. But I fucking well voted, and will bitch all I like.

I want to go home. So not in the mood today. Want to sit somewhere shady and not talk to anyone. Feh.