Well I suppose telling her you are Pagan is the lesser of the two evils than telling her you are marrying DodgyHoodoo.

There isn't a good way in this situation. Be honest, be direct, and tell her it's non negotiable. You could always soften the blow by telling her you smoke, and just pop it in as an afterthought... she'll still be assimilating the new smoking info, and it'll process the Pagan info easier.

However from what you've said, will she get past the circle boundary? (bad baph)