All Your Base Are Belong to Stelios

[thessalian]

Yet Another Goth Test

What a crock of shit.

Okaaaaaay ... is this AIM Express shitting the bed, AIM shitting the bed, AOL shitting the bed, or just me? Because I've been trying to sign on for ten minutes and getting jack all. This is annoying because there's no way in hell I can crack this puppy, despite supposed Geek-Goth status. This is so fucking annoying! I can download but then the machine seems to eat it.

Here's the deal. When you think of a computer, odds are you think of a hard drive, usually with a floppy and/or CD drive in situ, a monitor, keyboard and mouse. (It will also likely be beige.) And when you log on (if you use Windows), you will have a desktop displaying icons of some use. You know, Word, Excel sometimes, IE, maybe AIM if you use it, that kind of thing. And then there's that useful little icon at the top left of the screen (usually) which reads "My Computer". From there you can get to the C drive, the floppy and/or CD drives, whatever other drives you have (geeks are such memory pigs) and all the files therein.

First of all, on my system there is no box. I have a standard HP keyboard, a Samsung screen mounted to the wall, a little crappy HP scroll-wheel mouse, and that's it. When I log on, it goes directly to IE and shows me a login screen for my weekly account. Then I go back to IE and stay in IE. However, if I want to do anything different...

I can save things to ... I don't know what I can save them to; some limbo within the machine that purges when I log off. And it works if they're jpegs or Word documents or text files or something. However, if I want to download and install a .exe ... I'm shit out of luck. I'll be able to download it fine, but I won't find it in my document file when I go looking. And if I click to be shown the "My Documents" folder's in a window, I get a little box warning me that this function has been disabled and telling me how to re-enable it. But I'd need to go to "My Computer" to do it. And of course, there is no "My Computer" on this system. This, of course, is not my computer. This is Stelios' computer, and its mission in life is to make my life as hard as humanly possible.

I've been writing this while spending the last half-hour trying every method I could think of to crack this puppy, but no dice. There is just no way in. I suppose the only plus point is that, after so many years of having to go way around the houses to avoid using that ineffectual piece of shit Bill Gates or someone working for him called Notepad, Stelios or someone working for him finally replaced it with Wordpad. Bless.

So now I'm sitting in this overcrowded shithole, watching fucking cheapskates who won't even shell out for a 50p logon ticket share a computer and therefore depriving people who actually pay decent money a seat, wondering why the hell I'm here. After all, I only come here to a) check the odd MB, b) update the LJ and c) talk to my friends, it being so much cheaper to come here than to pick up the phone. I've done b), I can't do c) and a shouldn't take long.

Actually, I think I'll come back and do a) and try c) later. There's this couple of fuckheads next to me sort of starting to spread out to surrounding computers and I really don't fancy being next to the stupid shits.

Incidentally, my first game of Patient Name Bingo went well. Out of three cards, I won one just after lunch.

Okay, that's it; he's moved and I'm gone.

Thess